"The Childe...More restless than the swallow in the skies..." -Lord Byron, Childe Harold's Pilgrimage

Sunday, February 27, 2011

Best of Facebook Status Updates: Volume 2

Submissions for as yet Uncreated Pulitzer Prize for Status Updates
  • According to Blogger.com's Stats, my blog has been viewed eight times in China. I am stunned by the realization that my fiery Western rhetoric has begun to reach the Middle Kingdom. Sure hope they like the post about how to snuggle.
  • So, apparently Friday is now Sassy Day at the office.
  • For maximum flavor, allow Cheez-Its to breathe for 5 to 10 minutes before serving.
  • Taking a break from bipartisan anger to enjoy the great outdoors.
  • I used to think I was an ordinary uncle. But now I have sat shotgun as my niece practices driving with my car, and I know I am a brave uncle.
  • The hardest part about tinkering is stopping.
  • No wait. The hardest thing about tinkering...um...The most difficult facet of tin...Damn it!
  • This was the gist of two different elected officials I heard today: We are willing to cooperate with the other side provided they do what we want.
  • There is a Ladies-themed festival occurring in Chelsea today. All men are*hiccup*encouraged to attend both wine tastings*hiccup*and then seek shelter in either a garage or hardware store.*hiccup*A Severe Shopping Warning is in effect until 6 PM.
  • Been thinking a lot about where my life is headed. Y'know, trying to figure out where I should be going. Then today I saw Kate Beckinsale on a billboard on eastbound I-94 just past Zeeb Rd. So I'm thinkin' I'm gonna start going to Ann Arbor more.
  • Whenever I read amateur blogs online, I am reminded that many Americans suck at writing.
  • You know a fly is not long for this world when your attempt to shoo it away results in tripping it.
  • I saw a beautiful woman picking her nose. I didn't know that sort of thing happened.
For my previous collection of pathetic, but successful, attempts to get attention, please read Best of Facebook Status Updates.

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