"The Childe...More restless than the swallow in the skies..." -Lord Byron, Childe Harold's Pilgrimage

Saturday, September 1, 2012

Still Love Eastwood, Partisans However...

It was a comedy routine. It was a bit with an empty chair and a one-sided conversation. Clint Eastwood was horsing around and loosening up the crowd. Shaky delivery? Yes. Stuttering, sputtering attempt at improv? I think so. But it was comedy. 

Why the empty chair? He needed the chair empty so that he could pull off not one, but two "F*** You" jokes from the pulpit of the RNC. That's right. Eastwood warmed up conservatives with a little masturbation humor. That’s got to count for something. And whatever happened to being good sports when someone who doesn't hate you roasts you?

Regardless, Clint proved yet again just how easy it is to fluster the Democratic Party. It's just too damn easy. Thus said Danny Concannon on The West Wing: Why are Democrats always so bumfuzzled? 

My answer: because like their Republican arch enemies--yes arch enemies is the perfect term--like their enemies, Democrats seethe inside and grind their teeth when challenged by those foolish people who think differently.

I'm under no illusion that he's going to read this. Still...Clint, you and I are going to be voting for different men come November. But I still love you. And I still love your marvelous career and film work. There was some good stuff in your routine. Especially that part where you looked the entire RNC in the eyes and reminded them that politicians are just employees who work for us. 

Here are some things that should have bugged Democrats much more than Clint's comedy routine:

  • Governor Romney's I'm-a-died-in-the-wool-conservative routine  He's polished it up to a mirror finish over the last six years of his campaign, but it's still a routine. Why do you suppose he said almost nothing about his time as the Massachusetts governor?
  • Governor Romney bragging about being a baby boomer  a generation that has spent its entire lifespan living off the fat of big government. Enjoy the freeways this weekend, people.
  • Governor Romney boasting about the Apollo space program, a shining example of what big government can do. 
  • Governor Romney mocking science, and more particularly President Obama for seeming to play god with the oceans  Really, Mitt? Teasing others for playing god? You are a practicing Mormon. You literally believe you will become a God in the afterlife, ruling over worlds without number. You believe that when you defend the United States, and if you get to preside over them, you will be preparing the New Jerusalem for Christ's return. If these Mormon doctrines are indeed your personal beliefs, how can you possibly prosecute a war without feeling holy about it? (Spare me the rebuttal. I'll take religion off the table when the RNC does.)
  • Missing the great opportunity before us – That bugs me more than all of the above. We now have a race between two intelligent, ambitious candidatesexperienced leaders who have both shown a genuine love of kin and country. We could have an exciting issues-based campaign, if it wasn't for the bitter feud now preoccupying our two secular churches. Yes, our political parties are churches, of the worst kind, run by rich grumpy prelates who remain pathologically intolerant of contrary thinking. 

I doubt he'll ever read this, but Mitt, the premise you gave for not reelecting President Obama is flawed. I, and many other supporters of the President, have enjoyed plenty of days since voting for himdays filled with deep gratitude and enthusiasm for his hard work and accomplishments. Unlike Republicans, we rightly give him credit for much more than just having that one guy killed.

Lastly, Democrats, don’t make Clint Eastwood’s comedy routine the issue. That is a copout. Stop pouting over the latest brazen joke. Instead, give Americans the substantive issue-based campaign for which they are currently starved.


  1. This was an interesting post Jake. I agree your last point is really the one that gets me. I confess, I'm a little surprised whenever I hear there are still fans of Obama. I agree with him on more issues than with Romney, but I can't overlook the unfulfilled promises, the attempt to reboot "hope and change" and his seeming aloof attitude toward politics in general (which I think contributes to his inability to get anything done).

    Frankly, I'm just gonna have to write in Ron Paul or Gary Johnson's name because I can't stand the thought of voting for either Obama or Romney.

  2. Thanks for reading, Justin. Good to get your perspective. I haven't taken a close look at Paul or Johnson, or libertarianism for that matter. These days I'm trying to ration my political news intake in general. It's a very frustrating topic, isn't it?